nazuki210

today , I got mood swing again...I keep thinging in negative side..i don't know why...it just make me think my life is miserable.....yeah maybe thats tru anyway..who knows?

I think i really change a lot after i been here for my stupid certificate which cost my parents at least 600000...and give me a free gift of keep reminding me I cost them a lot of money from my mum...yeah yeah, I know all about it. and I know i must try all my best to pay them back after i got that stupid certificate. I don't know why, I keep  blaming others for making my life misarable..like no one want to care about me, no one would come to say hello to me only because they really want to see how I am doing...no one will knock my door and see if everything is ok with me..no one will care wether i am sleeping or having serious stomache but just keep arguing with with a damn annoying volume outside my room....no one...it seems that I mean nothing in everybody's life, even in my life....I feel like i keep alive in this world with no meaning...no body really needs me at all...wihtout me, they can keep on with thir colourful and happy life..yeah that's true actually....i no one want to care about me? y i have to care about them anyway...I already feel tired of keep helping ppl without getting any thankful back...

after i came here, I start thinking it's useless for me to be friend with others..since liek 2-3 years later, they just become a stranger then you even don't want to say hellp to them even you see each other on the street...yeah that's life anyway, they have no right to do that and they need not to do so, as they won't affect my results if I don't becoem friend with them so we can join together and do project together.........

now I don't even want to social with other hk ppl, since i don't know wt I should talk to them and no one knwo wt I really want as well.....I am nolonger the oen that I know 3 years ago.....and I do'nt' know who I am actually. all i know now is to finish those report and disertation which keep heating the deadline..and tryt o find a place to work which far from my home town and get rid of everybody and continue my miserable life...

I have lost my happiness, who can find it back for me?