nazuki210

I just found myself havn't come here for ages?!!maybe even decades!!haha~^^">

although I have been graduated for like 2months??3months? but i still unemployed........how miserable I am,haha~

When I was thinking about my life in a cafe today....I realized that when you grow older and older you will just have more and more things that you afriad of....make it an example, when you were a child, you may simply afriad of insects or worry about having no ice-cream for dessert.....etc..at least that's the case for me when I was a little girl...but now, you know wt....I am afriad of:

1.) ghost

2. Death

 

    

 

羅志祥 - 為你寫首歌 ( amy 改編版)	羅志祥 - 為你寫首歌 ( 原版)
天色快亮了 抱著你的手還停留著 好不捨 分手那一刻 回憶在腦海裡拉扯著 我哭了

    ohh, yeah , it's boxing day again, I would like to say a Big thank you to my parents!! They gave me a great great christmass present this year...haha, a trip to Germany and..........Swarovski necklace!!!( Although I bought it before I let them know about it...but i use my pocket money to buy it la, i didn't spend extra or use credit card oh...hahahah!)

ok, as I promise my mum, I have to show her the necklace, I took a pic.....let's check this out!

  

Amy's Present "Etera Pendant"

 

but not the one who seems to be never exists in this planet......

 

Ok, as I have promise my mum that I have to post some snowing photos and video here, here they come~!

 I would say nowadays the weather is really wired, I remember last year , there is no snow at all, only like 1-2 times within the whole winter term( wt i mean is the winter term that i stay in swiss) but this year, it start snowing in Nov~! the "climate" is really changing, haha!! anyhow, enjoy the vidoe and photos, I just took those in my room since it's really damn cold that I really don't wanna get out of my room....maybe I would take some more during my german trip!! oh yeah, I will be going to Germany on 20/12 , anyone need help to buy anything there? please leave a message, but don't forget, service charge is needed for sure, haha!

Ciao~

 

   As the first semester is over, I am quite free these days..( actually is not, but I jsut let myself stay free all the time..haha). When I got nothing to do , I found something great in youtube and I hope to share that with all of you who love music as same as I do. Actually i don't know their name , but they have a really gd voice and they are doing soemthing that I really want to do but have no "brave" to do so....performing  at the entrance of the MTR station in Tokyo!! They are not asking ppl money for that , wt they wanna so is to let ppl listen to their performance, i would say they really got the telant and they really sing very well!! hope that one day , I could watch their performance in person when one day......who want to go with me?

HOME (清水　翔太)

      

Miss you (清水　翔太)

 

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

today , I got mood swing again...I keep thinging in negative side..i don't know why...it just make me think my life is miserable.....yeah maybe thats tru anyway..who knows?

I think i really change a lot after i been here for my stupid certificate which cost my parents at least 600000...and give me a free gift of keep reminding me I cost them a lot of money from my mum...yeah yeah, I know all about it. and I know i must try all my best to pay them back after i got that stupid certificate. I don't know why, I keep  blaming others for making my life misarable..like no one want to care about me, no one would come to say hello to me only because they really want to see how I am doing...no one will knock my door and see if everything is ok with me..no one will care wether i am sleeping or having serious stomache but just keep arguing with with a damn annoying volume outside my room....no one...it seems that I mean nothing in everybody's life, even in my life....I feel like i keep alive in this world with no meaning...no body really needs me at all...wihtout me, they can keep on with thir colourful and happy life..yeah that's true actually....i no one want to care about me? y i have to care about them anyway...I already feel tired of keep helping ppl without getting any thankful back...

after i came here, I start thinking it's useless for me to be friend with others..since liek 2-3 years later, they just become a stranger then you even don't want to say hellp to them even you see each other on the street...yeah that's life anyway, they have no right to do that and they need not to do so, as they won't affect my results if I don't becoem friend with them so we can join together and do project together.........

now I don't even want to social with other hk ppl, since i don't know wt I should talk to them and no one knwo wt I really want as well.....I am nolonger the oen that I know 3 years ago.....and I do'nt' know who I am actually. all i know now is to finish those report and disertation which keep heating the deadline..and tryt o find a place to work which far from my home town and get rid of everybody and continue my miserable life...

I have lost my happiness, who can find it back for me?

 

 

Who can find out the different betwenn these 2 photo???? give you a hints...I took both photet outside my window!

haha...i think everyone can figure it out ba, rainbow ne!!a huge one but only appears for like 1 min>< sure I have to reord it down lo~!haha

ok, actually I am busy like hell these days!!!!not because I am busy to play around but....busy in doing dissertation proposal!i really wan tot kill myself for that...everyday keep reading journals..and I think after this semester i will at least gain 200C of short sight.....ai...still a long way to go ne....when will it come to an end? ok i know the answers....when the day i die!!haha~ C'est la vie......ok if you guys don't believe how damn busy i am , I can show you evidence....see the photo below....

   

This is the second time that I saw a firework in such a near position.^^the first time is in Rome....anyway, can you imagine it just perform in front of my room's window?!

I would say it's really amazing, you can even heard  my friend and I screaming around, haha!I hope anyone who come to my blog will enjoy that~! And I really want to thank that rich guy who provide me such a great memory in my last year of Swiss life....merci~!

 

really haven't been here for long long time...i think no more ppl will come here to read my blog la ba, haha~!sorry to those who came before...as I really silly to update the blog, actually, I got many thing that I want to share here, but I just too lazy to do the typing..haha


but this time, i really want to keep some of my feeling and thought here so that I need not to think about them all the time..it makes me feel tired...really..
i think everyone who knows me should know about gary,this guy, I would say he gave me a lot ,but also cost me a lot, he gave me friends from all arounf the world and power from his music so that I can keep on going to face the problems when I was in Swiss...those I really appriciate...however, he also cost me a lot, I lost a lot of time and $ and I even change my personaility(too serious? but that's true)...I don't know how to say, i think start from last year...whenever finish joining his funciton ...the only feeling i got from him is sadness......the more popular he is, the more sadness i got, since it just like I become useless....now he already got more and more fans supporting him, I even don't know wether he still rememebr who amy is...whenever I saw him, there's always a bunch of ppl around him, no more talking between us, less and less solo photo I got.......I keep asking myself y I still continue to support him throught these years? Y I don't give up after I go to swiss? Y I still hope that I can meet him again even though I feel sad after every function?  Y I still love to buy his cd and support his music although I already know those songs are no longer the one I listened in 2006 which can make me feel touching from teh bottom of my heart? Y I still joining his funcitons after I know that's onyl because I am responsible for that?

HAvn't been here for a long time arleady, cos i have start my internship already, everyday from 10-1030.....that's really not funny i would say, because of that , I los t a lot of things, friends, time, freedom, i can't do wtever i want, i just forcing myself to smile, to work..etc etc....

It seems like I am always alone, even during my break tie from 3-630 everyday, the only thing that I can do is buying a cup of coffee and do some reading ro 3 hours, everyday!wt the........ I am wondering if I make a reight choice......i am really regret for making this deision actually.....because the hotel brand name, i choose to leave my dear friend and work alone, i give up  a chance to work in Japan .......ai......

it seems that the distance between me and my friend  become really fare away, i lost my ability to find topic to talk , I become a person who aliways doing stupid thing and asking stupid question, I become the one who hope to be involved but not the one who always get involved by others............who can tell me wt i do wrong?I just want to be happy and that's it............i want my friend and my hppy memories back.......no more sadness ........................................

Today I was soo happy, haha~!

Because today I had a free drive by " Ferrari"~!That's the first time in my life, I Would say the feeling of sitting in the Ferrari and driving along the road with a speed of 150km/h is ...................Horrible ......but.....Amazing!!!!! I Just feel like everything is gone soo fast! This second I was 10M in front of the traffic light, and then the next second , I was already 100M away from that~!haha~

it's the first time for me to update my blog after i got move to pixnet.net...um..actually, i am really down today...um...not only today , but the past few days....although all my problem have been fixed. Ii need not to care about my internship, visa stuff anymore,however, Ii can't feel any happiness come out of my heart.I ijust feel like something is missing in my life...in the past few days, i have nothing to do , nothing that I want to work for....the feeling wasn't that gd..

I did think a lot in the past few days...i thought that y my life isialways full of "challanges"??how come everythime i put a lot of effort in doing one thing but at last , it just fail to achieve the goal?yyy?it is i really that bad so no ppl or country that want to get me involved?although i did ask meself to carry on , and yeah I did , i did carryonn in finding other offer sin hk....but I can't stop myself to feel sad about losing the offer in singapore.....i start deal with the hotel at the beginninig of sep......after i sacrify such a lot of time and effort, they give me a fail in getting the visa is because i am studying in a coutnry that they are not regonise???is it my fault???!!Ii don't know...

actually, after i back to hk , i never feel happy even during my taiwan trip, tha'ts the first time I feel sad when I was watching gary's performance( sure i didn't express my sadness) or eating those tasty food...not because it's always raining, but because I just lost my offer right before i go to taiwan...I lost everything at that time.I really hope that someone could notice my sadness and just came to ask me  wt happen....but no one did it.....and during the trip ....something happen that make me feel like.........um....無奈吧...i didn't mean anything, i know ppl did that to me is for my own gd, but when that's happened during my" down period" , it will make me even hurt.

Finally come to the end of this semester, actually, I would say this semester really gone soo fast, it just like i was back to IHTTI yesterday~!
This semester is really a diseaster for me...non stop working , planning, writting, exams..........never end....frustrated is the only feeling that i had now....sometime i even asked myself y I need to pay such a lot to put myself into hell, sometimes just want to cry hard, but even though i cried like lossing my mind, things and exams still comming , whenever i woke up iwt i need to do is to finish plenty of reports and group before the due date...I really want to get used to it, but it's hard, really hard......

alhtough it's hard, but finally it's over, i don't know how i stay alive, is it a miracle?who knows? after this semes, next task will be internship, i don't know if i make  a right choices, but it's no doubt that singapore is my favourite place which i would like to carry on my live there in the future, but I have no confidence to say that I must learn something from the internship right now as I don't know if I can satnd with those responsibility of providing high standard of performance, I go a little bit scare, cos ogf my terrible experience in singapore before.......i don't know...It seems that there are full of question mark in my life right now, i don't know wt is really the correct way for me to carry on my life, i don't know wt goanna be happened next year (or in BA) i don't know i don't know , i am totally lost actually...but I realized that no matter how hard life is, you still haev to over come that, "time" is really fair, it will never wait for you , but it must keep going, so hard time must  gone someday, this already become a motivation which supporting me ......i really hope that someday , i can find a motivation which can really " motivate " me but not telling me how the realistic is and forcing me to motivate myself...pls no more.....